Tuesday 8 April 2014

Life is to be lived, not controlled!!

One of the things I was warned about time and time again while preparing for my EPIK (English Program in Korea) Skype interview in 2012, was that they would ask me how flexible I am, i.e – Are you ok with last minute planning; and that I needed to convince them that I was. Now being that this was the second time I was asked this question in a job interview, the first being when I applied for an internship at my Church in 2010, I had my answer pretty well worked out…but did I believe it?? Not so much!!

I am one of those painfully organised type. I get things done way too far in advance, and drive others mad by making them feel as if there’re always falling behind, which for the most part, they’re not. All I can say is that that’s how God made me. Ok, maybe it was that, and then a whole lotta other decisions and mile stones in my life that led me here. But basically my point is, I’m organised, and by organised I mean as anti-last-minute as you get.

And so…arriving in a country, Korea {as foreign to me as you get}, a nation who embrace last minute like we do being on time back home, has taught me wonders….and created many a grey hair too!!

Although there have been many moments when last-minute-plans have caught me off guard and at times, even brought with them the odd spring of tears, I have learnt a lesson that I will hold dear for the remainder of my life. And that is, to let go of the things you cannot control.

It’s easy to organize your life according to priorities, to schedule, to plan, but there comes a time when certain elements remain out of your hands, and your placing expectations on them only add to your worries. The art of letting go is a swift and freeing as the words sound exiting your mouth.

For one…there are elements of your future which are 100% in your control, embrace those…but then there are those other factors, the ones that depended on external factors. And it’s these that I have learnt, the hard way, are not worth hours of worrying.

So…you are like me and think this whole ‘letting go of things you can’t control’ thing may be the answer to a lot of your unnecessary baggage…but where do you begin?

Here are 3 simple steps that got me started on developing my “letting go” habit…

1.   Write a list of the things that are currently worrying you {ie: taking up unnecessary thought time}

2.   Now…take some time to write next to each item on your list whether the outcome of this “thing” causing you to stress, is in your control, or not.

3.   Learn to acknowledge things for what they are!!! This simply means, once you’ve written these words down {out of my control}, allow those four little words to free you up!!!! When I say ‘free you up’, I mean up there in your busy mind. Allow yourself to let go, to do the part you can, and then to simply let it BE!!

This process is something that initially needs to be done on paper, weekly, if not daily….but over time habits develop, and it is my hope that you {and me too} will develop this habit of letting go of things that are out of our control and learning to live here, today, in this moment!!!

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