Wednesday 4 December 2013

Choose your inner circle wisely

I so clearly remember sitting with the 3 other head-girls at my school, in our first meeting with our Headmaster and him saying to us; "Girls, you will need to choose your inner-circle wisely next year". These words have never rung so true for me as they have this past year.

People are opinionated. Yes some more than others, but all in all, everyone likes to have a say...about everything. By being an open book you not only allow everyone to see you for who you really are, but you give them access to your dreams, your desires, your future. And I can only say from experience, that that space was meant only for a few chosen ones.

Starting a new job, choosing the man you will spend the rest of your life with, buying a home, finding a church, starting your own business or blog is a journey that isn't’t always safe and easy. Making big life decisions requires us to firstly know ourselves and secondly, to be able to turn to those closest to us, who know our dreams, our values and our passions and who we know will make a concerted effort to support us as we pursue these things.

There is a fine line between openness and vulnerability and so many of us get hurt daily by crossing this line. In order to protect your dreams, you need to choose, very carefully, those who will form your inner circle. Those who you know you can trust to hold your dreams with care, to encourage you and not break you down, to not get jealous or self-seeking. Those who will continuously push you in the direction of your dreams, with words of encouragement, sometimes the hard truth and always, always from a place of love.  

I recently read an article written by a woman who worked for hospice for years and who got the privilege of spending the final few hours with those passing on to a better place, listening to their greatest life regrets. One of the main 5 regrets she speaks of in this article {you can find it here on my facebook page}, is people wishing they had lived true to themselves and not up to the expectations of others. The truth is though, that you will only know ‘others’ expectations of you, if you allow them to have a say in your life. And if you don’t, then their opinion or expectations simply won’t matter.

My challenge for you is to choose your inner circle, those who you will share the intricate details of the journey of making BIG decisions in your life with, very carefully...and if you can only count them on one hand – I think you may be onto something!!


“The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them.”


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