Your needs matter...so stop weed-cutting!

We all have them, we sometimes deny them, but ultimately they are there. In a world where self-help books are the new go-to’s and immediate gratification takes priority over most things; one would think that my needs would matter. You know, that I’d be aware of them. But the truth is that needs are the deeply hidden parts of the ice-berg, and what you actually see aren’t my needs – what you see is my behaviour.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, ‘the ice-berg theory’, but if not, let me give you a quick overview. The Ice-berg is YOU J and what we, as humans, see in others is only the tip of the iceberg (the 10% above the water) and that happens to be our behavior or actions. Based on this minuscular view of YOU, that I am given, I make assumptions, as do you about me. Now because the world get to see and judge this 10%, it makes perfect sense as to why we all feel the need to ensure it’s giving the right impression. The problem is, that your behavior is dependent on the 90% of YOU that lies under the water, the part that no-one sees. As long we focus on changing and addressing the external part of ourselves and not the root of this behavior, we set ourselves up for failure.

If all you’re seeing is 10% of whom I am, then where is the rest of me?? And wouldn’t it make sense to invest more time on that part??

{Huge sigh of relief} - I am SO glad that you asked!! 

Of course it would!!! All behavior is merely an expression of what’s going on under the surface. So what is down there??

The psychological model states that it’s a combination of values, needs, thoughts, emotions and beliefs. Most of us address only our behavior (bad habit) and try to change it, which put simply is like ‘cutting a weed on ground level’. And we all know what happens then…it remains hidden just long enough for us to believe it’s been dealt with, until one day it reappears in full bloom. The only way to get rid of weeds is to pull them out from the root up. And it’s the same with addressing our behavior and bad habits - go down to the roots and do the work there, as THAT is where it all begins.

Recently I have found that I am constantly self-coaching myself in this regard. I see a behaviour, pattern or bad habit I don’t like, and instead of merely stopping it, and feeding myself with negative self talk (knowing it will just reappear in a few days time); I, instead, dig a little deeper. It’s never an easy thing to go through but if I can find the root, then I know that I am saving myself years of ineffective weed-cutting. I recently attended a training day where I was given access to a new coaching tool, which has taught me how to dig that much deeper. How to get access to my ‘why’ (the reason behind my behaviour) and to then address the need for what is it, rather than the behavior I am seeing.

Weed-cutting or trying to break a bad habit, behavior or thought pattern without knowing from where’s it comes, may feel like you doing something about it, but ultimately you are just setting yourself up for more work later on.

Get to those roots my friends…digging deep pays off J 

Here’s to LOVING the life you live & the YOU that lives that life!!

Tips for starting your own creative business!!

Ever dreamed of starting your own creative business but had no idea where to begin…

In the Nov 2013 I launched a hugely exciting blog collaboration series (Now E-book) where we looked at 9 of the top tips I believed you need in starting your own creative business.

I have met a number of creative’s through my Life Coaching, many of whom have BIG dreams of starting amazing companies ranging from photography, to image consulting to fashion, but have no idea where to begin.

In an attempt to spark that dream in your heart again, and to help bring it to life, I put together a 9-day blog series & now E-BOOK called “Tips for starting your own creative business” where 9 amazing, creative woman, all of whom have started their own creative businesses in the past few years, shared on topics I feel they have earned a right to be considered‘experts’ in. 

Sign up for my Newsletters (on the right of the screen) to 

receive your FREE copy of this AMAZING resource!!

Celebrating YOU (Birthdays)....

Celebrating my birthday yesterday, and the knowledge that, for the third time in a row I was abroad {travelling} over my birthday, I got somewhat sad thinking that once again I won’t be able to have a birthday party…and this got me thinking.

One of the biggest surprises I got from my clients personal questionnaires {they fill these in prior to our first session} was the amount of them, who haven’t celebrated their birthday in years.

Ok, so firstly let’s clear things up. No, I’m not some spoilt brat who travels the world for her birthday each year. It just so happens that 2 years ago I was on honeymoon for my birthday, last year we had just got to Korea for a year of living abroad, and this year, I am currently backpacking on our way home from Korea, after our year abroad. And yes, of course it’s incredible being abroad over your birthday – each year H has done something special, like white water rafting or super fancy dinner overlooking a rain forest, so it’s not that I’m un-appreciative, it’s just that I really like birthdays to be celebrated/spent with close friends, family and of course H too. And so here goes…

You are unique with talents, dreams and desires that match no other. You, my friend, were created with HUGE intention!! Your life is no accident, no, you were created for abundance!! So what does abundance look like?? Well, it looks a little something like this – you living out your dreams, daily enjoying the things that truly make you come alive and being surrounded by people that you love!! That’s abundance right there!!

This whole idea of being anti celebrating your birthday because it means you’re a year older is BS!! if you ask me. Yes you’re a year older but if you lived that year with intention, pursuing all things close to your heart then when your birthday arrives there should be no greater privilege than celebrating the past year, thanking your loved ones for the role they’ve played and getting AMPED for the year ahead. Older shmolder!!

I have a friend who has taught me a thing or two when it comes to birthdays and being one of my favourite people on earth, I thought it’s about time I gave her mention on my blog. Meet Ange....

Ange is full of life…and when I say full of life I mean, seriously FULL of life. She will not only give you a huge squeeze and kiss on the cheek when she meets you, but she will genuinely consider you a part of her life from that moment forward, to the point that you’ll make it on to her {and her mums} prayer lists :)

One of thing that I love most about Ange, is her ability to love. Every year she holds a birthday party, come rain or high water, she’ll organize some big bash on the 4^th August {her birthday}…and the heart behind it is always the same. It’s to honour all those who play a role in her life, to thank them for the past year and to bless them. From wine and cheese parties, to hours spent drinking tea, to wine tasting and cheese eating, to fancy wine-farm lunch affairs; each year, Ange organizes something extravagant for her friends, to celebrate her birthday and that means to celebrate their {her friends} lives. She even goes as far as printing us little encouraging messages or scriptures. That just Ange.

This notion of making your birthday about those that make you who you are has really challenged me so much!! Ange {If you read this} – you are incredible, thank you for teaching me a deeper meaning to birthdays…and of course plenty other things too!!

It is my hope, that this not only challenges you all but encourages you to look at your life, and to be grateful for all that fills it!! And my even bigger hope, is that this year, you’ll re-think your birthday party plans…and maybe even have a get-together just to celebrate the ones who play a role in your life and of course to celebrate LIFE in itself!!